I am puke
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
