Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
