The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
