i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
