3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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