I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
