and you said cock pushups were impossible
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
His nipple licking is glorious
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