Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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