I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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