Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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