found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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