I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
