well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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