Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
