Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
