You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
