The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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