I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
