He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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