i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
