lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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