i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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