he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
