what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
