Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
