I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
