I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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