he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
