Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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