can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
