I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
