She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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