She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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