Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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