I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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