so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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