I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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