she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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