I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
