He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
