My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im holly from the hills drunk
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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