Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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