You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
