I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize