Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
