WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
