by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
