I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize