she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
birth control should be required to get into college
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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