I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
