He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My vagina is officially offended.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
