.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
