just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
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I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize