I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
