I love black thongs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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