You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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