At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
