oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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