last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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