I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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