That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize