Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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