we're blogging at a bar
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
