U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
