it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
