Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
