addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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