He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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