I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
