she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize